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Can Jealousy Be Controlled?

Updated: Mar 17, 2023

This is a question that plagues us all at some point in our lives. Whether it's feeling envious of a friend's new job or new romantic partner, jealousy can be a tough emotion to shake.

Well, the short answer is yes. Jealousy is a natural emotion we can feel from time to time and it can be a motivating force to push us to improve ourselves.

However, when jealousy becomes excessive or all-consuming, it can lead to negative consequences such as strained relationships, anxiety and even depression. In these cases, it's important to try to find ways to recognise your triggers and then manage and control these feelings before they get out of hand.

So, firstly what are some of the common triggers of jealousy?

  1. One trigger might be comparison. When we compare ourselves to others, it's easy to feel like we're falling short in some way. This can lead to feelings of jealousy, especially if we see someone else achieving something we want.

  2. Another trigger might be insecurity. When we feel unsure of ourselves or our place in a relationship it can be easy to get jealous when someone else seems to be "getting some." This might be more of a raw point if we're not getting the attention or validation we want from our partner.

  3. Past experiences can also play a role in triggering jealousy. If we've been abandoned, hurt or betrayed in the past, it can be harder to trust others and feel secure in our relationships. This can lead to feelings of jealousy when we perceive a potential threat to what we have. It is often not the reality

Can Jealousy Be Controlled?

What can we do to curb the green-eyed monster? Here are a few tips:

  1. Practice self-care. Taking care of ourselves physically and emotionally helps us feel more confident in ourselves, which can reduce feelings of jealousy. This could include things like exercising, eating yummy meals, and putting time aside for yourself.

  1. Communicate openly with our partners. If we're feeling jealous in a relationship, it's important to talk about it with our partner. They might not even realize that their actions or words are causing us to feel jealous. By communicating openly, we can work together to address any insecurities or issues that might be causing these feelings.

  1. Focus on our own goals and accomplishments. One way to combat jealousy is to turn our focus inward and focus on our own dreams and goals. When we're working towards something we're passionate about, it is way easier to release the feelings of jealousy.

  1. Seek support. If jealousy is starting to interfere with our daily lives or relationships, it can be helpful to talk to a relationship therapist or trusted friend. Expressing to someone else how we feel can support us in moving the energy.

In short, while we can't completely eliminate jealousy from our lives, it's important to recognise our triggers so we can take steps to manage and control it. By taking care of ourselves, communicating openly with others, focusing on our own dreams, and seeking support when needed, we can learn from jealousy.

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